With the large availability of dating sites and resources to help us find our soul mate, we must learn how to quickly determine if the person before us is even capable of building a meaningful and lasting relationship. If in the first couple of dates any of these warning signs exist, run the other way!
Use this checklist to and identify possible red flags:
- _____ Married or otherwise unavailable to commit to me
- _____ Acts controlling, rudely or disrespectful toward others or me
- _____ Reacts to frustration with anger, rage, blame
- _____ Love bombing or cyber stacking
- _____ Drinking too much
- _____ Substance or behavior (sex, gambling) addiction rationalized as “not a problem”
- _____ Asking and talking about personal sexual habits and preferences
- _____ Sending suggestive or nude pictures and asking me to reciprocate
- _____ Forcing the first kiss by cornering me, etc
- _____ Changeable, inconsistent behavior
- _____ Wants to be my friend first, but invading personal and sexual boundaries
- _____ Immature, impulsive or irresponsible
- _____ Emotionally distant, aloof or hollow
- _____ Can’t stop talking about his or her Ex or Exes
- _____ Wants me to make their sad life better
- _____ Is pessimistic and negative about things that matter to me
- _____ Lacks integrity in dealing with people, money, etc.
- _____ Unwilling to self-examine, accept feedback, take responsibility
- _____ Misses dates without rescheduling in advance
- _____ Seems too good to be true
- _____ Emotional roller coaster, recurring or regular emotional drama
- _____ Talks too much about self, monopolizes conversation or too withdrawn
My gut reactions:
- _____ This isn’t what I really want, but I don’t want to be alone
- _____ I don’t feel proud of this person to introduce to my friends or family
- _____ I want to rescue, help, improve, or change this person
- _____ I’m acting needy, clingy or different with this person than I normally do
- _____ “Something” about them makes me freak out or triggers panic
- _____ I feel frustrated or confused when with him or her
- _____ Focusing on one important quality (money, sex, fun) and ignoring all else
- _____ I feel desperate
From Love Trauma To Fearless Love: 7 Tango Steps for Breaking Free From Narcissists and Predators
Download the Free Excerpt: Lovetrauma.com.
