Help! Why is my boyfriend obsessed with looking at porn? I think we have a good sex life, but apparently, he must be dissatisfied. When I catch him, he lies about it, which upsets me. I think that I’m attractive and I take good care of myself. We have a good relationship other than this and that he can go days and weeks without being with me. I just don’t understand. Why is this happening and what can I do about it? ~Brandie
It sounds like your boyfriend may be a porn addict. The addiction has nothing to do with you and it would occur whether or not you’re in his life. One of the problems with addiction is that the addiction is in control, not the individual. He or she becomes dependent on something to cope with stress and daily life causing them to hide the truth and not live authentically.
The first step to recovery from an addiction is acceptance. Until then you cannot help. Another problem with addictions is that the addicted individual will have feelings of guilt, shame, hopelessness, despair, failure, rejection, anxiety and/or humiliation that he or she cannot own and will, therefore, project, deflect and defend against. Many times it is their partner who feels the hopelessness and despair of the situation making for a very unhealthy relationship—toxic.
If your boyfriend is not willing to acknowledge and get help for his addiction and you desire to have a relationship based on honesty, openness and fidelity, it would be wise to seek counseling or coaching for yourself. Discover what you require from a relationship to feel loved and cherished and prepare to attract someone who exceeds your expectations.
From Love Trauma To Fearless Love: 7 Tango Steps for Breaking Free From Narcissists and Predators
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