Not all marriages look the same or have started out the same. What resilient healthy couples have achieved is: the ability to grow together. They might have been faced with huge challenges, but somewhere in their journey they embraced a spirit that moved them from inflexibility to tolerance of, not only, differences but also of change.
The following tips will help improve the chances for lasting love within your marriage:
- Mutual trust. There’s goodwill toward one another in every aspect of life. This doesn’t mean there hasn’t been or there won’t be a break in your confidence such as financial infidelity, an affair, abuse, or neglect. When trust is broken you both take responsibility to rectify the rupture, rebuild and return to the sense of goodwill.
- Openness. Honesty between the two of you is valued. You each can speak the truth without fear of judgment or punishment. There is room to agree to disagree. You can hear things that make you uncomfortable such as being called out on your stuff. Conflict is part of a healthy relationship and a means for personal growth.
- Mutual respect. There’s admiration and gratitude in sharing your life with your partner. You value each other and when one of you is out-of-line he or she quickly, apologizes because disrespecting your spouse doesn’t line up with who you are or your intentions.
- There’s commitment. Not only to the relationship, but also commitment to grow as a couple. Learning and discovering new things about each other or expanding your knowledge together keeps things fresh.
- Laughing and having fun together. Laughing and playing together cultivates a strong friendship that can help sustain you through the rough patches and move you through the storms of life.
- Shared common goals, values and faith. Your personal goals, values and faith ground you and grant you purpose. For couples that married young their values evolved together. While couples who married later in life they found partners that shared the same faith, values and similar goals.
- Sexual fulfillment. Healthy relationships have fun in and out of the bedroom. Flirting, spontaneity and playing together become the prelude to a vibrant sex life.
- Conscientious of each other’s needs. Each person has needs that are brought into the relationship and being crafty and creative in how you meet those needs can make a huge difference. Being attentive as well as being mindful to respect personal space, individuality and uniqueness is important.
- Pursuit of personal fulfillment. Each person is responsible, encouraged and supported to pursue their personal fulfillment whether it means changing career, exploring a new hobby or interest or returning to school. Although, love naturally creates an interdependency on your loved ones, your fulfillment doesn’t rest solely upon them, but on your ability to dream and the courage to take chances.
In essence a happy marriage is a dance between two people that strike a balance bringing out the best in each other while addressing and forgiving anything less than comforting and supportive.