Dear Fearless Love,
What’s love and how do you know when you’re “in it” — for real? When does “like” turn into love and how do I know if what I’m feeling is real or just something I’m caught up in at the moment?
~Monica
Dear Monica,
Love is fluid, with many flavors and depths. Being in love is an emotion producing strong affection and obsession for another.
When the other person reflects those sentiments, life is experienced from the extraordinary. This initial phase is filled with lust and driven by chemistry. It lasts about 18 – 24 months.
When values and life goals match, then love has a greater chance for longevity. Intimate love enjoys chemistry; however, it is harnessed by deep attachment and commitment. Here, love leads with actions and making choices congruent with care and respect, even when we don’t feel it.
We uphold our responsibilities to the life we have committed to. This in turn, leads to personal growth and fulfillment and a deeper, stronger love.
In lasting love, each partner has taken great care to satisfy each other’s needs and regard the other as his/her most valued prize – held in high esteem and gratitude. There is a great sense of security and freedom in this form of love which comes with time.
