Three tips for men to enjoy more sex, deepen your connection, and sustain a passionate relationship.
1. Pursuit
Wooing your wife will go a lot further than you think. Women feel desired, beautiful, and wanted by their husband’s advances, as long as sexual conquest isn’t the only time you focus attention toward her. Taking for granted that sex comes with marriage is boring! On the contrary, seizing the opportunity to create a deeper connection by a little kiss here and a little kiss there, then walking away, will peak her interest.
The secret to pursuing is creating a rhythm. First, connect with her – intellectually, emotionally, physically or spiritually. This will result in experiencing feelings of togetherness or closeness. Being suggestive, such as leaving a flower on her pillow or her car’s windshield, or gazing at her while kissing your child, evokes delight and romantic intrigue.
Second, when the moment is past go about your business. Third, later in the day, make another connection that results in feelings of togetherness such as reflecting back to her or following through on things that are important to her. Your wife will receive it as an affirming, caring act. Engaging in a daily ritual of ebbing and flowing, of togetherness and separateness, creates mystery and strengthens your relationship by renewing interest, passion, and desire for one another.
2. Communication
If men fall in love between their eyes, women fall in love between their ears. Do you recall the first time you laid eyes on your wife? One of the first things you did or wanted to do was to talk with her. Talking, texting and any form of communication is sexy. Women need openness and transparency in order to build trust and feel safe. This dynamic played a huge part for her, initially, in opening her heart to you. Don’t underestimate the power of seduction found in talking and communicating.
Learning to be a good listener as well as expressing your innermost experiences and feelings is key. Note that women use communication for many reasons, one of which is to alleviate stress. If you give her 20 minutes when she is ranting and raving and not try fixing her or the issue (unless she asks), it will pass. She’s just venting.
Sharing of thoughts, ideas and musing conversations are a fundamental part of a loving rapport between a man and a woman. Creating time to share meaningful conversations will rekindle your love and affection. Make it an escape from the outside world and an invitation to each other’s inner world.
3. Pleasure
Women generally need time to warm up, in order to feel sexual and have an orgasm. Therefore, great lovers know how to take their time with their lady. Intimate time together should be a zone free of worry, pressure and defensiveness. Pay attention to what feels pleasurable to your spouse. Reaching an orgasm isn’t the goal but rather the result of enjoying each other.
Cultivating an attitude of playfulness with your partner will also score big. Be willing to take chances and try new things. Viewing your sex life as a place to explore your connection with yourself and your partner is sexy. Connect with different emotions – laughing, incorporating power play and role playing, or expressing darker emotions and desires. Don’t forget to engage with all of your five senses – touch, taste, smell, sight, and sound.
Being playful and adventurous will require you to be willing to move outside your comfort zone, challenging you to let go of some control. Great sex requires some uncertainty. The “not knowing” fuels sexual energy and passion toward each other. You’ll enjoy sex more, deepen your connection, and sustain a passionate relationship.
Great lovers aren’t born; they’re made. Choosing to be more attentive to your partner, being a more open communicator, intentionally ebbing and flowing in and out of togetherness, and embracing playfulness to create new experiences can lead you to a blazing fire! A few simple changes can bring back the spark almost overnight.
